I recently asked Why Do People Who Ask Idiotic Questions Receive Media Credentials? but after further thought I decided that I just have to work harder to reach the incredible intellectual level of the brilliant people who are privileged to cover the chess world's most important and prestigious event.
The questions below are modeled after some of the excellent, insightful inquiries made in recent World Chess Championship press conferences, because I realize that there is no way that I could independently think of such questions myself--seriously, I cannot imagine ever asking such questions, but maybe I can dream of reaching such a journalistic pinnacle!
1) "Is this match more enjoyable for you than your previous World Chess Championship match?" This is a great question to ask to a player who is leading 4-3 after losing the previous World Chess Championship match following a series of blunders.
2) "Are you familiar with (insert the names of players from an obscure game played a long time ago)? Did this game influence your preparation?" This is a great question because during the World Chess Championship match the players are very much inclined to provide all of the details and background regarding their preparation.
3) "Today is (insert the name of a holiday from a religion that neither player observes). On this holiday (insert elaborate description of how that holiday is observed). Do you plan to celebrate your victory by observing this holiday?" This may be the most brilliant question yet! During a World Chess Championship match, players cannot wait for the opportunity to engage in elaborate comparative religion discussions.
4) "Your opponent experienced tremendous time pressure today. How did that make you feel?" The sheer insight of this question renders me speechless.
5) "Did you choose today's opening for sentimental reasons, or did you have a strategic reason for your choice?" This question is the most brilliant question yet! Clearly, with the World Chess Championship title on the line, we must not ignore the very realistic possibility that the players are choosing openings for sentimental reasons.
6) "Every game in this match has featured a different opening. Do you plan to play a different opening in the next game, or will you repeat one of the openings you already played during this match?" Again, it is brilliant to expect the players to reveal specifically what they plan to play in upcoming games. Such a question is guaranteed to generate a fascinating answer.
7) "From 1-10, how do you evaluate your self-confidence now?" This brings to mind the time that a reporter thought that it would be brilliant to ask Chris Paul if he thought that his team would win their next playoff game. Paul replied, "What? I'm on the team. What do you expect me to say, that it's over?" Clearly, Paul failed to appreciate the brilliance of that question, but it is wonderful that this line of questioning has been brought back to life in the World Chess Championship.
8) "Do you get excited watching other people play online chess games?" After being asked this question by Mike Klein, Ding Liren pretended that he could not understand the question and kept asking Klein to repeat it. Obviously, the question was so brilliant that Ding wanted to hear it over and over again. What else would world class chess players be doing other than watching other chess players play online games and then getting excited about that? I mean, there is no way that Ding would ask Klein to repeat the question just to highlight how ridiculous the question is, right? After hearing the question several times, Ding stated, "I am not excited to watch the other games played online."
I am quite sure that I have never thought of such questions before, but the fine journalists at the World Chess Championship have inspired me to stretch my thinking into previously unexplored territory. I doubt that I will ever be asked to cover the World Chess Championship--I appear to lack the requisite intellectual requirements--but I think that I have proven that, if presented the opportunity, I am ready jump into the fray!
Side note: I think that World Chess Championship press conference questions prefaced by "Mike Klein, Chess.com," are destined to be revered in the same way that NBA press conference questions prefaced by "Mark Schwarz, ESPN" have become legendary! All Klein needs to do to reach that status is to ask one player if he knows the mental state of the other player, and then keep asking different versions of that same question after the question has been answered. Schwarz won a couple of Sports Emmys for asking questions like that, setting the high bar that other journalists just hope that we can attain with a lot of hard work and deep thought. Schwarz and Klein specialize in asking the questions that all fans wish they could ask. Why would fans want to know about strategy when we could instead recklessly speculate about the mental and emotional states of other people?
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